attheseams

05:15 pm: LDA Conference
was great, informative, relaxing, stimulating and.... depressing. There are so many great people doing great things with kids but none of them are in SC. F. needs something different but I don't know when, where, how or what. Talked to Dr. Larry Silver who wrote a great book that I read early on, the Misunderstood Child. He recommended an educational advocate and a new psychiatrist.

08:37 am: Friends
OK, I guess I better post something cause I added my first friends to the list and they might wonder who the heck "attheseams" is.

I continue to struggle with the public/private issues of live journal but I deleted my bookmark for someone who was feeling her privacy was being invaded and won't read those posts anymore.

I have decided that my job is really not what I want to be doing. Field-based therapy is a good idea but I don't feel like it is working for me. I struggling with always trying to find a place that is conducive to the therapeutic relationship. It is especially hard in bad weather because children are welcome some places. Some places you are not welcome if you are not being a customer like the library. Plus lots of these kids need containment. How do you provide much of that in the wide open community?

Also, as I have always known and stated, my preference is to be working with parents more than the kids.

Don't know what this will ultimately mean in terms of my job but I am processing it.

Meanwhile, off to a conference in Reno for the rest of the week tomorrow and really looking forward to it.

08:23 am: Live Journals are wierd
They give me a view into people, things, worlds that I wouldn't have otherwise. But sometimes I read stuff I want to know and sometime I read stuff I don't want to know and there's no way to pick and choose. Like yesterday, I got in big trouble for reading something in someone's PUBLIC live journal. OK, maybe it was my poor judgement about how to use the information there. I mean I had to make a choice. Do something with this information or do nothing with it. Was there an obvious choice? I don't know. What are the ethics involved in reading someone's PUBLIC live journal? Who are people thinking will read their journal when they are writing it? What if they forget, "oh yeah, this links to x's journal which is read by y who I don't want to know this".

11:04 am: I guess the first thing that I would need to say is that I have been severely depressed for the last two months, not functioning at all at home, barely functioning at work, not caring about or wanting to do anything. Not good. I have been struggling to maintain my committments to people but not doing great, narrowed down to my kids only. Sort of.

I think that I am moving out of the this place. Hence, this journal which is something besides sitting in my chair and playing WOW.

It is a committment to myself to work not to fall back into the pit but look at my life. This is good.

OK, who else is this for? Not sure I am going to tell anyone except W about this journal. Maybe I can say things here that my depression won't let come out of my mouth.

I want to customize this journal more but haven't figured out how yet. I will.

A just called and wanted advise about dropping/not dropping a class. Hope I helped. I feel good about being asked.

Right now I am taking a break from work/home, sitting at Coffeetopia, switching between journal, email and WOW. Have a client at 1pm but it is only 11. Can't sit in this hard chair that long but in the meantime, enjoying myself.

10:52 am: Starting a live journal
Not sure why since I don't know who will read it but I like the format. I will try it.